Friday, November 9, 2012

My ramble about nothing/self confidence.

So, I am going to get all serious on you guys today.
I came home from work last night and let's just say that some crap hit the fan and I literally was feeling totally awful about myself, like I couldn't do anything right. Feel free to read my ramble, I am pretty sure that atleast some of you can relate; if not, I am the only crazy gal.
 
I often times feel like I am not good enough. I also often times compare myself to other people. I know what you are going to say "you shouldn't do that" and "you are a wonderful person" and all kinds of bullcrap that you people, yes you people, want to tell me. When I am in moods like that, I don't want to hear that "you are such a sweet person", so and and so forth. When this happens all I want to do is cry for no reason, eat icecream, look through a Victoria's Secret magazine and want to be skinny and beautiful like them and then complain about how I don't have a man in my life. I always want to be someone else. I want to have her hair, and her body and her skin and her life and this guy and these clothes and that thing and blah blah blaaaaaaah. I am never really happy with my own life because I am not fitting into the status quo that is around me. Everyone I know is away at college, living the life, with their significant other having a wonderful time. What am I doing? Living at home, going to college in-state, working crazy hours part-time, spending more time on my blog than interacting with the male species. That's what I am doing. I want somethign different and I want to be someone else. Then, I have these really enlightening talks over my register at work with friends. When someone says "you're personality is an A+" and someone else says that I am fun to be around and I am a good person to spend time with. Yes, I have these things in my favor, and finally people are telling me. Is that what I have been wanting all along? Someone to validate me? Then, I got it. Sometimes you need to not wait for people to remind you of how fabulous you are, but remind yourself that you are fine, fresh and fierce (and you got it on lock).
 
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