Thursday, January 24, 2013

I am always a Puzzled Polly.

Well, it's Thursday.
Which means, tomorrow is Friday.
Which makes me a happy duck.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. It's never good when I think, in case you didn't know. When I think very deeply about something, it consumes me. I just can't shake it, it's always in my head and it bothers me to the point of a literal depression. I mean, I get so depressed that I just eat Snack Pack pudding with whipped cream while watchind Dance Moms and I just want to cry. I mean, if that's not a picture of depression, I don't know what is. Maybe it's a picture of the single girl life. Either way, depression. There is only one way to get out of a depression: listening to Kelly Clarkson. Yup, that's the only reason. Don;t doubt me. Next time you are a Sad Sandy go put on "Miss Independent" and tell me that you don't end up having a dance party.
In light of my thinking and being puzzled by the stupidity in my life, I decided to make a list of a few of the many things that make me a Puzzled Polly. These are the questions that haunt me.
Why doesn't Dunkin Donuts make hot cups to fit every cup? I am not gunna lie and say I never get a large coffee from Dunkin, but I mean, some days I do. And when I do, I would not like to pick up the cup and get all the coffee sweat on my hands. If I buy a medium, I get the hot cup to keep my hand perfectly dry. Then if you get a small, they try to jam that sucker into a small hot cup, but we all know that don't work, homie.
Why I can't have an unlimited amount of money to spend at Target? I am sorry, but everytime I go in that God forsaken place I end up buying the entire joint. It's on stuff I don't even need! Oh look, it's January and I am going to start stocking up on these really cute Valentines....that I am not going to give out...because no one loves me...
Why did Jelena break up? Not that I even really care - kind of but not really. At first I thought she was too good for the Biebs and then they dated for like, ever, and so then I thought awe, they are kinda cute. And now they are broken up and all I want to do is have Biebs sing "As Long As You Love Me" to her so they can get back together. They were uber adorbs together, not gunna lie.
Why does Twitter limit me? Sorry Twitter, but I got stuff to say and I would like more than 140 characters to get all of my sarcasm and wit out into cyberspace, thanks!
Why can't I have my own personal valet? I mean, who really wants to walk all the way to their car and turn it on and all that jazz. Can I just have someone always on hand and ready to sprint to my car and pull it up to me? I mean, they could also drive me around if they please.
Why are men so stupid? I just don't get it and I don't think I ever will. They are so flipping oblivous to everything! I can't. I just can't. I could probably be holding a light up sign that says "I dig you" as I was being thrown out of a plane, on fire, throwing fireworks and this man still wouldn't get the hint. I mean, really?
You tell 'em, Abby!
Why can't I be satisfied with a salad when I eat it at home? I eat salad at home, I then want to eat everything. When I eat a salad at a restaurant, I am so full, I would pass  on whatever kind of chocolate, molten, lava oozey cake they had. I don't understand.
Why can't I actually be a good blogger? The world may never know.
Ciao, mi amores!


  1. I feel the same away about everything you just said...except the coffee. I don't know if we even have a Dunkin Donuts around here. But really boys are stupid, Beibs and Selena forever, and so and so forth. Duh-uhm.

    1. So glad someone understands! We just got our very own real Starbucks storefront this past week. Other than that, they are only in the city and then in Target's and Barnes and Nobles. I love me some Starbucks though! :-)