I have been on a big change kick.
And no, I don't mean collecting all my pennies and taking them to Coinstar.
I mean real change.
I get sick of things very easily. I always want to update things and keep everything fresh and new. I have been taking a lot of steps to change the things that I know need changing but I always thought were too hard. For me, it's easy to change my iPhone case, the wallpaper on my computer, the handbag that I carry, the nail polish that I wear, etc. I do those kinds of little changes, and I do them often. But to change big things, like things that will actually make a huge difference, I find a hard time doing that. I just need to accustom myself to change. But, how does one do that? By actually changing.
I am currently in the process of re-doing my bedroom. I have had the same color walls since I was 10. I am going to be 19 in July. I want to strip away the old me, the immature me, the stupid me and welcome a new, mature and responsible me. Can a coat of paint really do that? Well, for me, it's a start. It's a big change that I am committing to. Will things work out, let's sure hope so! But you see, for me, that's something big. I am starting somewhere, now I need to get to the other things.
I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a while just about my life, my friends and relationships with people. I have decided to really personally evaluate all of them and just figure out which ones are really worth and it, and which ones I need to let go. It's hard, yes, but it's something that I have been putting off and it needs to be done. I am also changing my feelings. I am one to hold onto feelings or things that happen to me. I need to stop that. It's a horrid habit. (Yes, I quoted the Parent Trap) I am learning how to be a better friend and how to see if people are being good friends to me. Man, is this a scary reality. But, again, it's a change that has to be made.
I had a talk with a friend of mine lately and he told me that: "It's never easy. Life is full of possibilities and let-downs, so you have to take the good with the bad and just enjoy yourself. And most of all, be happy with yourself." Well said, good friend. Which leads me to the last slide in my presentation of change which ends with making myself happy. I am making good, positive and though out changes that will help me be a better, happier, healthier, stronger and more confident person with each passing day. I need to be happy, first and foremost.
Taylor Swift said that things will change.
Yes, Taylor, I can feel it now. And it feels good.