Thursday, April 11, 2013

Motivation? Use it in a sentence.

Do you ever lose your motivation? Like, to do absolutely anything?
I am currently at that point and it kind of stinks, I am not gunna lie to you. I feel like I am running into a wall, and I have been running into that said wall for such a long time now where I have given up breaking through it and just flopped on the floor and started napping. Yup, that's pretty much where I am in a nutshell.

I know, Jiggy, I feel you.

This semester is coming to an end and so much pressure for next year and frankly for the rest of my life are all hitting me now. Maybe I am crazy but I don't know what I want to do with my life. I always tell people that the things that I am good at are things that don't pay the bills. I am good at writing, theater, singing off key in the car, baking cupcakes and a bunch of other useless things. I just feel like I am going to college to get a degree in something just to say that I went to so-and-so college and graduated with this piece of paper. Say I actually major in English or Theater. What in God's name am I going to do with that when I walk across that stage? Who really stinkin' knows. I don't even stinkin' know, and that makes me nervous.

I have been trying to brainstorm things that I wouldn't mind doing for a job. I currently cashier and that's not such a bad gig, but I wouldn't want to work there for the rest of my life. I think about the things I enjoy in my life that I could actually find a job in. I love theater so I thought about working at the local theater in the city. Maybe I could work in the box office or sell food at the concessions? I would technically be in a place that I love not necessarily doing what I want, but I would be in a place that could maybe help me get somewhere I could be happy with. I can't really think of too many things that could give me a job that I would enjoy. But then, I think about other people. There are people who are happy being waiters or baristas. I am sure they didn't wake up one morning and say they wanted to wait on people for a living, but they do it and they are enjoying what they do. Yes, I do know some very happy waiters. There are even people without jobs who are happy.

I guess what I am really getting at here is that I am so overwhelmed with the rest of my life.
I don't know what I am doing, where I am going or how I am going to get there once I figure out where I am going.
Maybe I can ask Siri.

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